Torchy’s Ultimatum

Clay Olsen | November 12, 2014

Please join me in demanding that Torchy’s Tacos add two additional items to their menu. Explanation is provided below:

The popular taco restaurant, Torchy’s, has two items on their menu called “The Democrat” and “The Republican.” Many seem to like the former a lot more than the latter (perhaps this was manufactured with purpose). I propose that two additional items be added to the menu: “The Conservative” and “The Liberal.”

On the Conservative, you are given a simple steak taco in which you pay by the pound and must spend a fair amount (market price) of money extra for additional toppings. The Liberal is quite different; this taco has a description on the menu that is like no taco you have ever heard of. It is said to be loaded with everything you could ever want. The taco is advertised as the largest taco on the menu and is guaranteed to ease your hunger for seven hours after consumption (and perhaps it has a reasonable stated price, but there is small text that says the sales tax on the taco is 50%).

A customer looks over the menu and thinks that the Liberal is the clear choice; it offers so much! The order is made (the vote is cast). The customer waits for the taco with great anticipation. The order number is called, the customer runs to the counter to claim the prize. There must be a mistake. What lies in the tray marked with the customer’s number is a broken, hard, corn taco with random meat that was unused from yesterday. The toppings are abundant, yes, but their quality is repulsive. Quite simply, what lays in front of the customer is a pile of trash.

I believe that this analogy is a good representation of the politics that I have witnessed ever since I began following this depressing process during my freshman year of high school. The Liberal candidate offers amazing promises. They say that they alone have the ideas and the ideologies that will make life closer to perfection. The Conservative says that life demands a certain amount of personal responsibility – life isn’t all sunshine and roses. Voters listen to both sides and say to themselves, “I want the one that sounds better/easier” as opposed to the one that is realistic. The people speak, decisions are made, results are observed. And the results fall very short compared to what was said. The impossibility of the promises are recognized.

The question is – Why would the same Torchy’s customer from the story order “The Liberal” the next time he/she comes back?